While talking about the magical land of Portland the other day, my friend Tyler mentioned how he has seen more women growing “mustaches” there than anywhere else, and not ironically so. It is as if they are all saying, “Hey, I am a woman with facial hair and I will not be told by society that I must wax or bleach it away. And while I’m at it I will not be forced into shaving or removing the hair from under my arms, my legs or any other region of my body. I am, how I was intended to be.” Ok, ladies… while I admire your argument and see where you are coming from, I can not condone your choice to remain a yeti.
I am not saying that every woman must remove all of her body hair, every day for the rest of her life. I get it, I too am a woman (believe it or not), and realize that hair removal is a pain in the ass*. It is time consuming, dangerous and can cause discomfort; simply put, it is obnoxious. However, lets be honest, smooth legs are pretty darn great, and not having furry under arms is just doing the general public a favor. No one wants to see your sweat twirled armpit hair and while we are on the subject, unshaved legs on a woman just feel wrong.
Now, compared to my grandmother, I am something of a feminists, but ladies, just because you cangrow body hair, doesn’t mean you should keep it. Hardcore feminists, you may not agree with me, you may think men don’t have to shave their legs, so why should we? But I would challenge you to think of it this way. Men can pee standing up, does that mean we too must pee standing up? Maybe this is a bad example but I would like to say these two ideas are pretty much saying the same thing- men can so we should to! Not to get political on you, I am not about to burn my bras (though I probably would have, had I been from another generation), I am just talking about the basic consideration of body hair maintenance.
Guys shave their faces, trim and wax their eye brows, and groom themselves in other various ways so that they don’t lose themselves in their body hair and become a total mess. No, it is not mandatory, but it is nice, even feminists can get behind good hygiene. Hippies are still on the fence, but they will come around eventually. If they are really honest with themselves, they would realize that no one wants to smell of patchouli and deal with copious amounts of body hair forever. It is just a fact of life.
Do what you will, shave how you like. But ladies, please, do your man (or woman) a favor and clean that isht up. They will thank you, I promise.
*Let’s have a raw moment shall we. When I was in Jr. High (the worst faze of life for 90% of humanity) I decided I would Nair my legs; which seemed like a great idea at the time. It was “mess free, painless and easy” and I would be able to wear my short shorts without worrying about having missed a spot shaving! Huzzah!
At the ripe young age of 13, I stood in the dimly lit bathroom of our cottage, smoothed on the light pink solution, nearly passed out from the perm like smell, and waited. I’m not really sure how long I was supposed to leave it on, but I am pretty sure that I jumped into the shower, crying, after two torturous minutes, which felt more like an hour in my pain stricken mind. My legs burned and erupted in small red bumps. I couldn’t wear my short shorts! I couldn’t wear any shorts. Those commercials lied to me! I spent the next two days of vacation sweating my butt off in pants instead of living up my hairless summer dreams. It was a tragedy of epic proportions.
Needless to say I learned my lesson, razors are my friend and sugaring is an acceptable substitution. Stick with what works for you and it will do you well, stray from it and your body may just rebel.
Now go, in (hairless) peace.