Ok, I admit it, I am (slightly) vain. I mean, who isn't?! (BE HONEST)
We may not love the forearm hair inherited from our grandfather or the fact that our mothers left us with a less than ideal ass, but you know what, if you think about it for all of five seconds, I guarantee you will come up with your favorite feature. It is what we do, we pic favorites, everyone knows it and no one admits it so I will.
One of my favorite things about myself, besides my grotesquely boney sternum and clavicles (it is sick how much I enjoy their protrusion) are my eyes. I think I like them because, as a child, I never really cared for my nose, finding it too large for my face, and my eyes seemed to balance it out in some strange way. I also have an addiction to mascara, I love the stuff, can't get enough! Mascara and hairspray, two things I compulsively buy at the beauty supply store (what? it is a write off so it's fine!).
Last week something horrible happened... I will admit... this story is embarrassing, but it is a prime example of just how much I value my eye balls and the little hairs attached to them.
When preparing to go to a friends "hood" themed birthday party I was in a bit of a rush. For lack of time my "cholita" inspired look began to suffer, however, I refused to let it fail. I slicked my hair back, threw on gold chains, drew on tragically dark eye brows and, for a finishing touch, put on false eye lashes. This is where things take a turn for the worse (prepare yourselves). As I glued on my first set of lashes (they were strip lashes which was mistake number one) I forgot to trim them to fit my eyeballs size (mistake number two), because I was in a hurry I decided to trim the strip WHILE IT WAS GLUED TO MY FACE! (I KNOW, mistake number three) and here is where I went into a full out panic. As the scissors closed down on the lashes I felt a slight pull, when I looked up an entire section of my lashes were missing. Had I just cut off the entire side of my natural lash!? Was I going to be forced to wear falsies until they grew back in?! In my mind I had a shopping cart full of Latise and I was ready to press 'purchase'.
Drew laughed as I cried like a five year old in the bathroom. Did I bother to remove the strip to look at the damage? Hell No! I'm not stupid, we had a party to get to so I sucked it up, (trimmed) and put on the other set and we walked out the door. My spirit was crushed... I was going to be an eye lash free freak of nature and my coveted lashes would be ruined forever (I mean, my lashes aren't like mascara commercial worthy, but I really like them you guys).
Thankfully the moment I walked into the party hip hop carried my blues away. I transformed into the alternate version of myself who (mysteriously) knows how to dance and left all my troubles on the dance floor.
When I got home late that night and removed the lashes to see the damage I had done, I sighed with heavy relief! I had merely obliterated the false lash glued to my face, leaving my own wispy wonders fully intact.
The moral of this story is don't trim fake eyelashes WHILE THEY ARE ON YOUR FACE! DUH. Also, realize that things are never going to be perfect, there is never enough time, we hold silly things to tightly, and (far too often) let our internal dialog ruin the present moment. But if we can learn to let go and get on the dance floor, everything will be just fine.
*The lovely woman in these photos is Sidney, a beautiful and talented friend who chose to come as a cross dress known as "ShoShawNa"
** Also, I was supposed to have "Swag" drawn across my throat but we ran out of time... obviously.