The last week has been full; a river being filled to overflowing, cresting the shore and continuing to rise. Rushing past carrying everything around it in it’s wake. I felt things beginning to slip, slowly at first, until finally I felt all of my resources stripped away… it’s strange, I never used to care about cleaning my apartment or going grocery shopping, making sure ‘all the ducks are in a row,’ but now I feel like I am failing when I don’t get my ‘life tasks’ done (how very Stepford of me). I felt pressed for time, my writing suffered, meetings were passed over, and I felt my heart raging in a panic within it’s cage of flesh and bone.
Our guests came and went in harmony. We gave tours, ate, drank, and laughed for days on end. LA showed her good side, glimmering and brilliant, not a dark moment to place a blemish on her beauty.
All of this, all of the distraction, was then made louder.
Some opportunities arose this week. Things that could push me forward or drag me back, but I am not sure how to take them. My spirit wrestled with the feeling of unknowing. What is the right choice? What will be best for my career? For my marriage (a still strange reality)? For my happiness?
Deep conversation, long days, heavy thoughts causing the river to grow ever stronger…
But then. Drew reminded me of a thing I always hold to be true, “Bird by bird” he said, “take it one thing at a time.” Working through the noise, finding what is good for you (body, mind and spirit), and listening to the still small voice, the genius waiting to guide you.
Breath deeply. Know that this too shall pass. See that there is green up ahead, the river will fade and return to flowing, gently, onward.
When you are busy, when the tides of life threaten to rip you from the tree you are hiding in, how do you hold on? For now, I will hunt for floaties, the banks have only begun to rise.