So we decided to move. The decision was not easy but it felt right. Do you want to know what else isn't easy?
I'm not sure if you have ever moved across the country, but let me tell you what, it is a giant pain in the ass. You have to book a pod or box or a truck that can store your stuff and ship your stuff across the nation without it all melting, breaking and/or falling apart. Due to the seemingly impromptu nature of our move it felt like the moving companies were up-charging us in our time of need, I know, rude. SO not only is the move inconvenient it is expensive!
You better believe I also had some... moments... as I packed up our home. There were days of total peace and days riddled with doubt (that is putting it lightly. I think at one point I threatened to run away to my friends house so I wouldn't have to leave LA). However, seeing our community and our families surround and support us in this time has been the most beautiful thing. They challenged us to trust the process, which made me love them and loath them simultaneously.
Side note- I wouldn't wish this upside down, tumultuous season of life on my worst enemy, BUT I am so incredibly thankful for the growth and change that it has brought about in our lives. Our family dynamics have never been better, our relationships are being refined and made stronger-that, even in the pain, has been a gift.
On October 30th we spent the night at our friend Neph and Becky's. We woke up early on the 31st, met friends for breakfast at Sqirl and then moved out of our apartment for good. Everything we own is now either in a Pod waiting to be sent across the country or in our car with us.
A dear friend was gracious enough to allow us to stay in her loft in the Arts District in LA for the first two weeks of November. We rested, saw friends, shared meals, held babies, and cherished our final moments in the city. It was strange and painful, but also incredibly special. Nothing forces you to be present like knowing that you won't get to have an experience, see a persons face, or share a meal over their table for quite some time.
But it had to end.
People kept asking me if I was ready to leave... if I felt ready for the adventure ahead. I would smile and say NO! but also YES!... It was complicated. By the time we actually left LA I felt somewhat numb, I didn't know what I 'should' be feeling- excited? nervous? scared? overjoyed? The truth was that I felt joy and sadness, excitement and fear, ALL at the same time. I was a experiencing emotional hot flashes, one moment fine, the next falling apart. The strange thing is, even in the tough moments I felt comforted... I can't explain it... "a peace that surpasses all understanding".
Saturday November 12th marked our last moments in LA. We woke up early, packed the car, stopped for coffee one last time at Civil and left. It still doesn't feel real to be honest. We drove for 14 hours straight, LA-Denver... when I say 'we' I mean Drew, he is a badass who loves to drive and took the time behind the wheel like a champ! We rolled into the city at midnight and crashed into sleep.
Our time in Denver has been warm and beautiful and full of love.
We spent Sunday with our dear friends and their family, celebrating Thanksgiving (it came a little early this year). We drank too much wine and ate too much food. We went around the table and said what we were truly thankful for this year, it was humbling and full of light. We took a walk and watched The Grinch Who Stole Christmas. It was so special to be with this family who feels just as much our family as as our biological families, they are our Italian Family and we love them deeply.
The rest of our time has been spent in rhythm. Work, coffee, meals, sharing time and our hearts with our people here. Cocktails, Chipotle, pizza night, holding babies, holding each other.
I'll be honest, I feel like crying. I feel like crying for all that we have lost. I feel like crying for joy at all we have here. I feel like crying for the change we are going through. I feel like crying over the peace the Divine has placed in our hearts, even here, even still, even in the unknown.
Life has proved to be anything but predictable. Our path has proved to be anything but easy. But it has drawn out courage and strength, love and hope. It has forced us to let go and trust in truth. Each morning I forget, each day I remember, each night I am thankful.
What has this season of life been for you? What is pressing on your heart? What is rattling in your bones? I would love to hear about it, share in the comments below.