I have the itch to write, to journal all the things that are sloshing through my mind. Journalling, while cathartic, often frustrates me because by the end of my mental tirade my hand is cramping and my writing is illegible. You know what I am talking about right? You start things off- Dear Diary... blah blah blah- and then, before you know it, your words look like squiggles and you don't know how point 'A' turned into point 'G', it is mental mayhem on the page.
This morning I am thinking a lot. By now I am sure that you are aware of my overly introspective mind and this morning is no exception. Dense emotion clouds my vision, I feel the waters of my soul become over grown... perhaps it is the swampy nature of the south run amuck in my 'inner world'. Then again, maybe its just a casual Monday full of deep thoughts...
I can't remember if I mentioned before, but my coach (heeeey Jon!) has been talking to me a lot about 'ways of being'. Most people operate out of a "Do, Have, Be" mentality that says- I DO this so that I can HAVE X, Y , and Z, and then I will BE happy and content. This mindset is a recipe for dissapointment, so says Jon and I, to my own chagrin, agree with him. Jon suggests (or rather some coach Jon learned from suggests) a "Be, Do, Have" way of existence. That is to say that our way of BEING dictates what we DO and thus resulting in the things we HAVE. I much prefer this . mindset as I am rather, 'hippie dippie' as my mother would say, and it feels organic and natural. However, the other mindset, the DO mindset is so rampant in our society that I struggle in disconnecting my way of BEING from DOING.
DO= Definition in our society. "What do you DO" they ask you, as if what you DO will allow them to know everything about you. The truth is, it simply allows them to categorize you into a slot in their brain- "Drew is a designer.", "Kelsey does hair", "Augusta is a photographer", "Alissa makes notebooks". These things, while parts of us, do not define our BEINGS.
Today the questions winding through my brain are as follows:
1- Who am I committed to being? (clarity inside)
2- What will I do? (Actions leading to clarity outside)
3- What choices am I making so that I can have the life (things etc) that I envision? (Results)
The question that trumps them all... excuse me, allow me to rephrase that... The biggest question of course is- What is my vision and what am I committed to?
For a long time I didn't have a vision and the only thing I was committed to was 'staying safe'. Which translates into me allowing others to dictate my life and giving up MY choice to them. This habit, this mindset is serving no one, least of all myself.
All of this, of course, connects back to my last post about choice and how definitive it is in our lives. What are you choosing? Who are you committed to being?
Food for thought until next time.