The ever present dot, dot, dot in punctuation. Some may say I over use it, while others find it slightly endearing, realizing that it is part of who I am, therefore, it is a part of how I write.
I’m not even sure how it started. Instant messaging perhaps? The days of Zanga, Live Journal and Chatrooms. There wasn’t time to think, you wrote, paused with the dot, dot, dot, and continued on without room for breath. I am not the inventor of this tactic, I am pretty sure you can trace it back to the stone age and cave drawings**. Never the less I felt compelled,(subconsciously) to perfect that little-dreamy-dotted piece of punctuation.
In later years those three little blips on the screen would become so much more. I identified with them, I took shelter in their existence on the page. Their meaning became mine to hold, mine to expose. I think for a second I held a Golem like grip over them, “my precious!”, wanting no one else to possess their “power” (I swear I’m not crazy, I was just going through a rough patch okay?! Don’t judge. Like you have never tried to control peoples use of punctuation, you know who you are you grammatical Nazis you!).
An Ellipses, in its most simple form, boils down to the the idea of “and so on”. It allows you to extenuate a thought or action without actually having to do anything but dot, dot, dot. I loved the idea of, “and so on”, it became my idiosyncratic mantra. I added on to it, which in a sense goes against the very idea of leaving things unfinished but I didn’t care.
The Ellipses grew to represent the concept of, past, present, and future, taking on the idea that no matter where I had been in my past, no matter where I am currently at, there is always more to come. Ellipses, became hope for the future.
It may seem silly, but even today when I type out those three little spots I think on that idea. I am reminded of what my life was, what it is, and where it will go. It isn’t logical, it isn’t rocket science, and it doesn’t have to be.
The idea is simple, the meaning vast. I will carry it with me forever, though now a days I am far less possessive.
*Please note, I resisted using any actual Ellipses in the entirety of this post. Mostly as an exercise for my brain, but then again…
**That fact is based on absolutely nothing. It is an exaggeration to make a point, you know like when you say something took “an eternity”.