When your head hits your pillow… when your eyes are shut tight…when your mind is left to wander…where does it lead you?
Emmerson once sad, “Don’t be pushed by your fears. Be led by your dreams.” That statement alone can be scary.
Lately Drew and I have been dealing with this issue a lot. Whether it be personal or professional there is a steady vein of fear and optimism fighting against one another in our lives. It is easy to make excuses for why we absolutely can not do something. It is easier to sit on the sofa than actually try to make plans to do the aforementioned thing.
Our generation seeks this idea of the ideal (I’m really feeling the slanty vibes today, don’t judge), in reality we are disappointed when we get that job, that new car, girlfriend, boyfriend, pair of shoes; the grass is always greener is more true now than ever. Which leads to the bastard of an idea, “why try at all?” we ask ourselves this without even realizing it. We seek shelter in the anonymity of the digital world. Projecting a version of ourselves that is more confident, more attractive, better, smarter, more interesting… we cling to the all in one distraction devices that are our cell phones with white knuckles.
It is scary to put yourself out there (as it were), to approach a new career, business idea, friendship, relationship in reality; you name it, there are a million hiccups waiting to erupt the moment you put down your cellular device and choose to be fully present.
There is a quote from Waking Life that goes something like this- “most people are either sleep walking through their waking life or wake walking through their sleeping life. Either way they’re not getting much out of it.” I don’t want to be that person. I realize not all dreams are as good as the ones where you can fly (though lately I have been able to do magic in my dreams which is pretty much the absolute coolest [be jealous, or do like I do and read Harry Potter before bed]). We need the normal dreams from time to time… the little goals that make the big things more attainable.
This week I will set up social engagements* and actually attend them with bells on (figuratively of course… I’m not that weird). Next week, who knows, I may even have dinner with someone (non romantically of course, Drew and I are still very much in love). The options are endless.
*I swear I’m not a hermit, sometimes I just forget there are things in the world outside of work… it is a sickness. Also when funds are limited, one must make sacrifices, but that is for another time… soon however, all my excuses will run out and I will have no choice but to dream a dream (in time gone by [le mis? anyone? no... ok])