Hello everyone! How are you doing today? (A totally cliched and unoriginal opener for a blog post, but you know what, I think you are great and I would love to know how you are doing. Also, if you know anything about me by this point, it is that I am so cheesy my nickname is cheddar [not true, but still])
I, if you care to know, am doing well! I am exhausted presently and living off copious amounts of coffee and gallons of water to sustain some semblance of an energy level (dear women with children, how do you do it!? You all deserve a medal of heroism, that's all there is to it!). The cause of my exhaustion is great so I can't complain. I have been working a lot more (doing hair and makeup on set) which I love, even the 'boring jobs' I love! I get to interact with people and make stupid jokes and help create something, which feels awesome. That all being said, I owe you an apology! My career pursuits have caused me to neglecting you. I haven't posted a recipe in 2 WEEKS! I haven't posted every day for 2 WEEKS! The shame is intense you guys (jk jk, I'm just fine, it is you I am worried about).
The first day I realized that I wasn't going to be able to post I was panic stricken, "How can I NOT post!?" I thought... "What if people think I am a flake?"..."What if they are disappointed?" Then it dawned on me- the more pressure I put on myself to post, to perfect, to control, the less joy I feel when I write and create. This blog was started out of a need to create something for myself (a totally selfish piece of real-estate on the internet) and I promised myself that it would always remain that way. Somewhere along the way it became about me and you and this thing we have going... I don't really know what to call it, but it is good and that is all I care about.
2 years later I still want this forum to be a place of openness and understanding, culture, creativity, vulnerability, honesty, humor and sarcasm... A place form my streams of thought to run into, culminating into the story of my (and often Drews) journey (sorry Anna, sometimes that is the only word that works).
These last 2 weeks were an amazing exercise in letting go, it taking a step back and remembering why it is I enjoy writing and creating content. Once I gave myself the permission to 'do what I can' instead of 'control and perfect' I found so much more peace in the pursuit. My guilt of not contributing melted away and I was left with a feeling contentment.
Thank you for sticking with me, thank you for your understanding, and grace... And now, dear readers, back to your regularly scheduled broadcasting.