I have started this post three times.
I have stared at the blinking little line on the screen for a solid thirty minutes, silently begging it to stop torturing me.
It is one of those days. You know the ones. The ones that start off full of intention and end in tears. Ok, to be fair, that is a tad dramatic- there have been no tears (though it is only 2 p.m. there is still potential for a sob fest later in the day).
The truth is, I'm not sure what to say.
It is the Monday before Christmas. I KNOW. How is that a thing? A year ago I was ending holiday tour and flying to Michigan to spend the holidays with friends and family. This year Drew and I decided to move across the country and for me to start a new job less than a month before the holidays. This means we will not be sticking to tradition... which is sad... but also exciting because we can start new traditions with just us two (tiny families unite!).
Last Christmas we rented a cabin with Drews family, sat by a fire and got stick-poke tattoos at the kitchen table (thanks Seth). This year we will celebrate in simple ways- watch copious amounts of Christmasy films, listen to Ella and Louis on repeat, family face time for hours on end and eat ALL the things (right now I'm thinking sausage gravy and all the things free biscuits for breakfast, the weird holiday lunder time of 2 or 3pm featuring roast lamb and mashed potatoes and then finish off with lots and lots of fancy aps, snacks, and desserts). All of this sounds lovely doesn't it? I agree, though I will say my joy is laced with a sweet layer of sadness... which is kind of how all of this year has been don't you think?
2016 started with so much potential and now we are all counting down the days tills it ends, am I right? I know I'm right because the internet tells me so-
Do you remember last new years? Everyone was all "2016 is totally going to be my year!" and now everyone is like "F*&^ this noise! 2016 can be done NOW!" To be fair everyone seemed depressed last new years... many people were feeling beat down, desperate for change and hope. However, I can't help but feel that many of us spent most of this year just waiting for that change to happen. The thing is, change doesn't (usually) just happen. Change takes action and courage, it takes... daring and grit.
Last night Drew and I watched the first episode (maybe two) of Man in the High Castle. I'm not 1,000% sure how I feel about it yet, however, there was some very good content that makes you think about what it means to be human. During a rather tense scene with the Japanese Minister and a Spy (? to be honest I think he was a German General, but one can't be so sure) the Minister says, "Fate may be in the hands of the universe, but men control their destiny." mic drop, walk away (that may not be the exact quote... but it's close).
This begs the question- What is your destiny?
That is a very daring question is it not? I feel as though we think about our 'purpose' from a very self facing point of view most of the time, but I feel like we approach 'destiny' with a more global perspective. Living into your destiny means acting on faith and gut instinct, trusting in the truth set out before you, believing the Universe is on your side. Faith + Action + Courage +Hope + Love + Living +++
I get butterflies in my chest when I think about this idea. It is convicting and exciting.
2016 was a year in which many of us felt wanderlust. We wandered and (many of us) got lost. Our nation took a turn. We pointed fingers and placed blame. It may be done, but I don't believe it is over- this is not our destiny.
Words are powerful, what we believe to be true, what we speak into existence, what we hope for and have faith in can change the way we interact with the world around us.
This coming year I want to live into a life that is more inspiring, more impactful, more full and generous. I want to slather the world around me with love and light like my grandma slathers a roll with butter at Christmas dinner. I want give this life every drop of good energy I possess- energy is wasted if it is not used after all- In a years time I want to look back on 2017 with a heart that is full, not a heart that is broken.
As you go through these next few weeks may you live in grace, generosity and love. Even if you can't afford a lavish holiday. No matter how you celebrate, no matter who you are or are not with, may you be filled with delight, may your heart be warm and full.
Over the next week write down what you believe about yourself. Write down what your believe to be possible. Write down your destiny.
Happy Holidays you beautiful humans!