Have you seen the new Pixar film Inside Out? If not, stop what you are doing and GO WATCH IT RIGHT NOW! It will make you feel ALL the things... I realize this is technically a 'kids' movie, but you guys, it was definitely made by adults FOR adults (and not just in the tongue in cheek, adult humor kind of way). Seriously, this film impacted my mental state more than I ever thought possible. It was funny and charming and surprisingly deep. Don't believe me, ask anyone you know who has seen it.
Inside Out focuses on the five key emotions we all have and how they work/fit together, how they make us see and interact in the world. There is Joy, Anger, Disgust, Fear, and Sadness. They are present and pervasive and incredibly perceptive. They shape the memories we make, leaving their distinct emotional mark in their wake.
Every day, from the moment we open our eyes to the moment we fall into a deep, dreamy (dreamless) sleep, we (unknowingly) gage how we feel, taking the world in, building our realities one moment at a time. Some memories are stronger than others, they become (what the film refers to as) core memories; the things which leave deep impressions on our conscious and and subconscious make us who we are in the very fiber of our being.
This movie destroyed me. I thought of my emotions, I thought of how I see the world, and I, oh so precariously, thought of what my core memories would be... what are the things that shape who I am? Don't go down that rabbit trail unless you are ready to deal with the consequences. I was unprepared and caught off guard; struck with a deep fear that all of my core emotions had been touched by sadness.
Now, I have had a few days and a long chat with my therapist to go over why this may be and I have come out the other side realizing that I am not actually a sad person (thank heavens). BUT that doesn't change the fact that a lot of the things that have shaped who I am were in fact sad or troublesome. Time has given me a lot of healing, but as I grow older I realize that becoming who we are meant to be is a process, a journey, and we often pigeon hole ourselves into thinking we can't change. The truth of the matter is that we are strong, vibrant beings capable of greatness, no matter where we come from, what people have said, how we have been treated, and what people expect (or don't expect) of us.
You are worth loving, you are worth fighting for. You are stronger than you know and there is a brave, beautiful heart buried in your chest. (I'm speaking to myself here as well)
How do you feel? What are your core memories? How do you see your inside (out)?
*I realize this is not the US movie poster... but it was so much cuter than the other ones!