Have you ever found yourself inexplicably annoyed with someone. This is not your run of the mill annoying, we are talking about the kind of annoyance where every utterance out of the offending individuals mouth makes you want to wring their neck or junk punch them so hard their kids will feel it (thanks fifth grade for giving me that reference). Do you know the feeling? No? Cool... so it's just me then?
People are people and sometimes their presence feels more like sandpaper than a snuggy if you know what I'm saying. However, that doesn't make them all bad, what it does make them is rough to deal with (see what I did there?).
My question, dear readers, is this- how do you deal with that feeling? How do you handle your frustration?
a)confront the individual? Resulting in an irreversible explosion of word vomit that will leave you both worse for the wear (not to mention the permanent stain on your relationship)
b) let it lie. Remain still, impassive, and let the healing waters of time wash away all the malice and angst; leaving a clear pool where a sea once raged harder than an angry teen at a Metallica (insert Norma Jean if you were born past 1980) concert.
Obviously 90% of us cling to option 'a' with a white knuckled fury known reserved for formula one drivers. We confront the a-hole because 'they deserve it', we rationalize that if no one tells them what a dickneck they are being they will remain that way for all eternity and we will quietly hate them from a distance until the end of time, which simply won't do. So we confront and THEN resent form a distance until the end of time.
OR maybe, just maybe, if we give things space, if we allow the situation (friendship, relationship etc) to breath like a fine wine... perhaps we can save it, who knows maybe (like wine) it will get better. This may not always be the case but I like to think most things can be salvaged; some part of me is an eternal optimist (weird right?). There are times we simply need to walk away and come back to the table when we are able to approach things with a clear mind and open heart, like five year olds reconsidering going to bed without dinner over not eating their peas.
There are, of course, exceptions to every rule. Sometimes that DN (dickneck) needs to be confronted and it IS the best thing for them and somehow (magic that's how) you remain friends. Other times you need to walk away entirely and let it be buried. There are relationships that are toxic and need warning labels reading "CAUTION- contents may cause harm if reintroduced into your life".
There isn't a formula to figuring this all out. There isn't a band-aide big enough to fix some injuries and scars will form, but at the end of the day they are your scars, your stories, and it is up to you to decide how deep they will go and how well they will heal. I have been on both ends of both of these scenarios... it's rough you guys... but you know what? I am who I am because of all of these situations and I wouldn't trade that for the world.
Best of luck in all your DN encounters; may you find peace and resolution.
*this photo has nothing to do with this post... I just snapped it at a friends place after a photo shoot and have been meaning to post it... also it just feels calm so I thought it fitting.