FACT- when pressure builds to capacity (or reaches a boiling point) one of two things happens-
1) the substance is altered; i.e. liquid becoming gas or vapor
2) the substance combusts and explodes
I am sure there a whole lot of other scientific things that happen but for today these two facts really work with what I am trying to say so we will stick with it (also I'm no Science Mike).
What I am trying to say is this-
When you feel the pressures in your life building, find a way to let them out. If you don't, you risk turning into something (someone) that you are not or snapping (exploding) all over the people you hold most dear.
What do I mean by letting it out?
- See a therapist, talk things through with someone you trust before things reach the boiling point.
- Practice honesty (and yoga).
- Breath deeply and try to focus on the truths within your life instead of the lies the gremlins (you know... those voices in your head that tell you how terrible you are) are telling you.
- Take a walk/journal... process things in a healthy way. Do your best to be truthful/non judgmental/or bias when thinking or writing things through.
- Realize that the worst case... the very worst case... probably isn't all that bad.
I know this seems crazy/ridiculously hard and at times it will be. I promise you, the more you do these things, the more naturally they will come. Now, I'm not always perfect at this... just yesterday I had a melt down over not being able to make a decision about something (there is a whole ball of insecurity tied to that) and Drew was left standing in the wake of my implosion. The beauty is, I was able to step back (with his encouragement and love) into the truth. I went for a walk, cleared my head, listened to a podcast, saw the beauty in my neighborhood and was flooded with gratefulness for being able to live where we do and the fact that I could take a walk (safely) in the park. It changed my entire day, my entire outlook.
I once heard a very successful business woman tell a story about how 98% of her employees walked out on her over night; it was devastating. But what she realized in that moment (and what changed her entire life) was this, "When you hold something so very tightly one of two things will happen. You will either crush the thing you are trying to protect (and control) or it will pop out of your hands and you will loose it entirely... I simultaneously experienced both." That story forever changed how I (want to) view and interact with the world.
What are you holding too tightly? What pressures are building? How can you share them, work through them, in a healthy way? Venting is one thing, sharing, being vulnerable, and learning to actually deal with the struggles in our lives is very different. It is a process, a daily experiment, where we look at our lives and ask ourselves, "what is causing this pressure and how can I deal with it before I explode?"