Coffee sits, growing cold from neglect in our over sized mugs. Whether our neglect or the waitresses I’m not sure, but I realize just how long we have been talking when I go to take a sip and am greeted by tepid mediocrity where once piping hot, delicious coffee had sat. Our conversation has ran the gambit. Relationships, books, history, mythology, work, and life, coming full circle to an idea that ties a lot of those things together; misery.
We love wallowing don’t we? Everyone says they don’t but they do. The tangled maze of web we spin becomes our identity, for without it we would feel, ordinary and who wants to be ordinary?! Craving drama, we make decisions that propel us into unideal situations, conflict, and turbulence. But through it all we can say “my god! you are not going to believe this!”. It brings attention and sympathy to our door step in spades, friends and family side with us because they feel obligated to help us get out of the hole we have dug for ourselves. It’s a messy business being miserable, but if we play our cards right (which we so often do) we will find no shortage of compatriots who share in our plight; because lets face it, after all, misery loves company.
Why do people do this? What compels them? Getting out of the miserable circumstances they are in, finding a better path, taking on adventure and facing their fears head on, is the mantra we tout. All of that is true, sure, but what about those of us who say we are doing those things, we are taking the high road and moving on, when in fact all we really want is to spin the web tighter, allow the plot to thicken, and drama to build to a point of heart bursting palpitation. You know what I’m talking about, you have probably done it in the last 24 hours, I am guilty of it, though I am slightly ashamed to say so.
After all of this deduction, the sad reality of just how much misery loves company and just how negative people so easily become, I had a conversation with another dear friend who has resolved to be more positive in the coming year…an idea that may not be mind blowing, but thought provoking none the less. Is positivity simply mind over matter? I think it most certainly can affect how you act and react to situations, but can you force yourself to actually feel different?
Studies have shown that those who inundate their minds with more positive and self affirming thoughts, not only have lower stress levels, but have less risk to disease and or respond better to treatment of a pre-existing condition. Surrounding yourself with other positive thinkers and genuine companionship also helps influence the joy and peace you get out of life.
Granted, changing years of distrust and dissatisfaction doesn’t happen over night, but maybe today you will take one step towards positivity. I realize this sounds like a bunch of new age bull, but the more you think about it, the more it makes sense. Not to mention I am just worried about your health, wealth, and happiness (totally selfish motives, I admit it).
As with so many other things in life it is the little things; not over reacting, thinking before you speak, not cutting yourself down mentally, but choosing to see things differently.
A wise man once said, “Whether the glass is half empty or half full, at least you have a damn drink!”… I’m pretty sure it was my grandfather and I’m pretty sure it was followed up by something like, “so stop your bitching” but we will just focus on the first part.
So, cheers dear reader. I raise my glass to you, half full or half empty, at leaste we have a drink.