I think we are insecure creatures... people that is.
We all fear things, we don't like things about ourselves, and yet- every day we face the world and do our best to be 'fine'.
We fear failure, being alone, being unworthy, being untalented, a fraud... we fear being disliked, unattractive, undesired, forgotten. We have our ways of dealing (or not dealing) with these fears. We burry then, smooth them over with concealer, hide them under layers of clothing, complete with the emotional equivalent of a kevlar vest; we protect ourselves.
“When we numb [hard feelings], we numb joy, we numb gratitude, we numb happiness.” *
Really, all of these things are just an illusion. At the end of the day we lay our weary heads upon the pillow (preferably Down), turn out the lights, and allow ourselves simply to be, exposed.
I find myself drawn to the subject of vulnerability like a fat kid to an ice cream bar... I can't resist...perhaps it is because the concept fascinates me or perhaps it is because the idea of removing my own kevlar puts the fear of God in me more than a Southern Baptist preaching of 'hell, fire, and brimstone'. What if you all find out I am a fraud? What if you don't like me when you realize I'm just a giant ball of random facts and dad jokes?! (to be fair they are really good dad jokes!) Will you want to work with me? Will you still be my friend?
PFFFFT! You guys! If I worried about all of those things all of the time I would go crazy. However, those things are very real, they exist somewhere below the current of my soul waiting for the opportunity to disrupt my cool, calm, and confident persona; leaving me in shambles.
I will forever differ to the queen of vulnerability (Brené Brown) to give you the skinny on just how powerful and important this subject is. We are all in need of a good paddle to the chest every now and again to restart our emotional hearts. Or, you know, a vat of wine and a good cry will do the trick.
“Vulnerability is not weakness. And that myth is profoundly dangerous.”
What are you letting dictate your life? What are you protecting? Is it worth it?
Think about it... take your time. I'm here should you need, sipping on my wine, letting the slow burn bring me back to full emotional health.
*quotes taken from Brené Browns Vulnerability Ted Talk.
**a behind the scenes moment on a recent shoot with the amazingly talented Victoria Wall Harris. I loved the vulnerability in Devons eyes, making this the perfect image for a post on the subject. To see the actual images which do Victoria justice, click here.