I stumbled across this post from the start of last year... so much has changed. I see where I started and where I have ended up; I am humbled. There is hope in the darkness, light and beauty. This is a reminder.
In the quiet of Sunday morning, I sit at the kitchen table and think of all the events to come, and those that have come to pass. Drew has gone back to bed, the weight of work taking its tole on his body and mind. My heart is heavy and eyes only slightly less so, as I sip my coffee while banana bread bakes, filling the room with comforting warmth. The sky hangs gray sheets in a veil over the trees outside the window as clouds float, listless, through the haze.
Sunday, the end of one week, the beginning of another, start and finish folded together; packaged up, nice and neat, for us to unfold, refold, use and put away. The day of rest. The day of recovery. The day of reflection.
I feel as if I have been standing in the ocean for days, weeks, months, on end. My body weathered by salt and surf. I keep running my hands through the water, creating ripples, hoping they will, intern, create the wave that may carry me to shore, aware that the wrong current could lead me asunder. I dip my fingers below the surface, moving them gently at first. Suddenly, I become aware that my once subtle movements have left me floundering, flailing, grasping for something solid in the vapor which has settled on the surface of the water. I have pushed for so long, only to be left stranded. The pieces of my future, which float past me are small but present, giving me hope that perhaps I am not so far from shore. I pull them together, little by little, and slowly but surely I gain momentum.
Now, if only the sea weren't so quiet. If only it would respond in some way. A ripple to echo my flailing, a gentle wave to let me know I've been heard...
The sea is vast, the horizon long. Perhaps I should be content simply to float, for a little longer, until the right wave arrives to carry me ashore.
More and more I see what those pieces were. I sit in wonder of all that has come to pass and look with anticipation at all that remains ahead. A moment can change the course of your life, hold on to the hope of tomorrow.
To those who have been a part of this journey, thank you, thank you, thank you. Let's keep this up, keep moving forward. There is so much good, so much hope, so much peace, joy, love, and light. The world is vast and bright, deep and dark, which path will you choose to walk?
*I found (and quickly became obsessed with) this image and tried to trace its origin with no luck... if you know the originator of this piece do let me know so I can properly credit them.