There are moments in life that leave us feeling… infinite. They come, fleeting in a heart beat, tugging at the corners of your jacket, childlike and full of wonder. The whisper of the wind carries them away just as fast as they came, and you are left, eyes open, body and soul touching the great unknown.
My spirit aches in their memory, my heart longs for them to remain.
As the earth begins to warm, I feel myself falling into rhythm with Springs harmony. The thaw awakening moments, allowing them grow and flourish, enveloping my mind.
A year ago life was very different… a year ago I lived two lives, stretched by thousands of miles, made whole in these moments.
Take a breath. Do you feel that? How the air is changing. It is warm, yet cool, smelling of life and earth, filling me with hope and wonder.
It has been three months since he left. But he is home for now and that is all that matters. We wander down the dirt road, past the lake, up through the hedges that grow, threatening to take over the path, untrimmed in the early Spring heat.
This is our secret place. Hidden from the cares and troubles of the outside world. We walk, hand in hand, our hearts saying what our lips cannot.
Heat burns in my lunges as I take a drag from his cigarette. The deck is full, everyone we love, cooling down in the late night, taking a break from the sea of bodies dancing inside.
Laughter ripples, sending shivers down my spine, and I am aware, every fiber of my being connected to this moment of life, love and happiness. I look around at the faces, smiling, present and full of hope.
He is by my side, if only for now and I know, if nothing else, that this is belonging, this is my community, these are my people.
Night has begun to feel familiar. His voice filling my lunges, the scent of lilac its company, floating in from the cracked window by my bed. He is two thousand miles away and I am here, buried beneath the weight of down and dark.
I cherish these moments, knowing the dawn brings a break in time, a distance in our worlds.
A soft breeze drifts through the window, the moon casts pools of light across my small room and I listen to his stories. As his voice comes to my ear it beckons me to sleep; to dream of seeing him again.