Every action has an equal or oposite reaction… or something like that…
If you drink too much you can either A)have a great time or B)want to die the next day while you wallow in your self inflicted hungover state. If you eat too many finger licking delicious chicken wings, you will be blissfully happy for the moment, then regret your choices several hours later when you are still bloated and can’t fix the fire blazing in your internal organs to save your life.
The list is infinite and cyclical, even good things can have “bad” consequences; these however, I have dubbed Taxes. After all, we all like making money and would prefer to make more of it, but in addition to making more money we pay more taxes. And so, here is the first of many of life’s taxes I would like to discuss with you.
As a rather heath conscious individual I do my best to take care of my body. Granted my love of food sometimes gets in the way…but what am I going to do, not eat!? Don’t be ridiculous. I prefer to try and host a comfortable balance of working out, eating healthy, and splurging sometimes (when the moment is right of course). This past summer I found a ruiten that really seemed to work for my body and how I needed to workout inorder to burn the most fat and tone my muscle in an efficient way. You all know my love of Nike Training Club so I will keep the ranting and raving to a minimum, but I will say, after years of working out, it was like finding water in the desert (seriously I have been a gym rat since I could walk. My dad and I had matching Hammer Pants when I was 3 and I would go “work out” with him, no joke).
The tragedy of finding a workout that really works for you is that sometimes you loose things you don’t want to or you loose first where you would rather loose last if you had the choice. For most women this means we loose our boobs… it is rumored that doing pushups and bench presses make your pec muscles bigger which will aid in lifting and firming The Girls into perky happier versions of themselves… I am not entirely convinced. Women often loose their boobs first because, well, it’s a pretty useless place to store fat, and a relatively small density of it can reside there, so fat is eradicated more easily from your boob region then say, your love-handles, booty or hips.
On another note, while I was looking up all kinds of fun statistics and information on this subject, I was rather astounded at how clinical and creepy they made it all sound. First off, I read an article that used the word breast upwards of 18 times in 5 short paragraphs! Second, in the same article they suggest getting breast augmentation as the only suitable answer to all your boob-consciousness (though I am not opposed to boob jobs, in fact I know an amazing surgen if you are looking, I was however, surprised to find it as the answer to fixing the way your body could change from working out). Given the rather strange findings, I was rather relieved when I stumbled across an article that spoke both knowledgeably on the subject and had a great sense of lightness and informative humor to their statistics. Not to mention their vernacular in boob reference was rather superb (doing a nice run down in the first paragraph finalizing with the term, “sweater meat” which was a new one for me).
Don’t you worry, boobs are just boobs, some of us have them, some of us don’t. While they are lovely and a nice addition to an otherwise vacant part of our anatomy, I must confess my admiration for a great big pair of knockers has waned over the years. Perhaps it is because I have finally realized my dream of having Pam Anderson sized melons is absolutely never going to happen, even pre-implant Pam is a dream long lost. I like to say it is because I prefer dressing for small boobs… they don’t get in the way, I can wear low cut shirts without a nip slip really being a problem, and they don’t hinder my workouts or any other activity for that matter. Big boobs are lovely and I admire women for being able to pull them off and I will not fault you for wanting them, for they really are quite wonderful. I however, prefer to make inappropriate jokes about loosing my boobs in the pursuit of a better body. Which come to think of it, is a trade I’m really quite ok with.
Now, post child bearing boobs are another thing entirely and I will more than likely be seeking the help of a skilled professional in fixing the damage my future, non-existant children may cause. For now, my workouts and I are doing great and I am more than happy to pay the tax required, boob-less-ness and all.