The honest truth is that we are all scared. We are all chasing things. We are all hiding.
The honest truth is that if we allow these things to define us we will never get ANYWHERE.
I am terrified of delving into the caverns of my soul to discover what I TRULY want in life. Because wanting things for myself means that I can (in a sense) fail at something just by desiring it... try to unpack that sucker, it will make your brain hurt (trust me).
However, the older I get the younger I am not. The more time passes, the less time I have. Why waste it? Why live in fear? Also they say wisdom comes with age soooo maybe I do just need to get older.
Our minds race with all of the things we allow to fill them. Silence is intimidating because we are then faced with the naked truths within ourselves (and that is just the scariest thing).
Who are you?... really?
What do you want from your life?...be honest.
Are you taking the steps to make that happen? Are you living in such a way to make your dreams a reality? Do you believe in yourself enough to create the life you want to live?
If your answer is no... may I ask you why? If your answer is yes, keep it up! You are far braver than most.
I am taking the time to, once again, figure these things out. The last two years have been nothing but shifting sands and life changes. The world seems to be spinning faster and I need to (consciously) press pause, be still, and face the truths within myself. I recently had a little time to unplug and search my soul (though it was forced via no cell service while on Orcas Island [stories to come don't worry]) it is amazing the clarity you will find when your brain isn't drifting to the distraction of your phone every five minutes (there more on that later as well).
They say 'the future is what you make it' and 'you are who want to be'... One thing I know, one thing I want, is to live a happy life, a full life, an intentional life. I want to leave fear behind and look to the future, eyes open and ready for what lies ahead.
Henry Miller once wrote, "The aim of life is to live, and to live means to be aware, joyously, drunkenly, serenely, divinely aware." and so, today I choose to be aware. To feel each breath, to feel the warmth of the sun on my skin, to smile in the face of adversity and laugh with those I love. Today I choose life in all it's beautiful chaos.
What do you choose?
p.s. Also, if you need a little more juju for your day, I stumbled across this gem the other morning, I hope it inspires you as much as it inspired me-
"I love those who can smile in trouble, who can gather strength from distress, and grow brave by reflection. 'Tis the business of little minds to shrink, but they whose heart are firm and whose conscience approves their conduct, will pursue their principles unto death."
-Leonardo da Vinci