Ok kids, it’s fate, I must write about the most hella awkward and tormenting of topics… having themenzies. This subject has come up in major cultural outlets multiple times this past week and I feel it is my duty to share these amazing resources for finding humor in that god-awful, Eve inflicted (what a b* am I right?) time of the month known as the common period.
Leave it to the Man Repeller to write the most fantastic blog post, possibly ever, on the subject. That woman is fearless in her all white fashions, laughing in the face of the crimson devil that is inflicting it’s hormonal spell on her insides. I am all for dressing in real clothing and forcing yourself into skinny jeans so that you don’t retreat to yoga-pant-land for a week straight, but putting on white anything during that time of the month makes me nervous.
Gents, while this topic I am sure makes you feel queazy and uncomfortable, I have found humor and facing it head on takes away some of its wicked powers. Forinstance, I have fondly dubbed it “George” why? Who really knows, but I really enjoy saying that “George is a dirty bastard and should go back to hell where he belongs”. My mother would probably ridicule me for making such a harsh statement, telling me that, “it is a beautiful gift, so that you will be able to bare children one day” and while that thought is sentimental and lovely for her, I would rather not have the cramps that make me feel like cutting off the lower half of my body every month.
Also, while all guys think that mood swings are just an excuse for irrational behavior and chocolate cravings, all girls become this way on their period. So what? You think we have secret club meetings (sisterhood of the time of the month) at a young age and collectively decide to go crazy for kicks and giggles? No! New Girl is proof. Jess was sabotaged by her “baby box”. We are incapable of fully dealing with our emotions and things can get a little out of hand (puppy photo anyone?) but not to worry, in a few days time things will go back to normal, I promise.
Ladies, take it easy on your guys. We may be emotional messes that feel like our internal organs are being crushed, but that is no reason to make those around us suffer as much as we are… not to mention pointless retaliation only makes the bad feelings worse, it is a sick cycle, so not caving to it’s pressure would be incredibly helpful.
Fellas, be sensitive. Just think WWJBD (What would James Bond Do?), keep composure, remain calm in the face of the most terrifying circumstances and sweep your woman off her feet with your most debonair demeanor as soon as hell week has passed.